The British Economic Miracle

So:

British workers work the longest hours of any in Europe
British workers take less holiday than others in Europe
the British government has put as much of the state into private hands as it can to make it more efficient and productive
Gordon Brown abolished boom and bust
Britain is best placed to weather international recession.

A hard-working, high-spending labour force. So why is the economy fucked?

Possibly because:

British workers work longer hours than everyone else in Europe yet their productivity is not as great
British workers often take home shit wages despite working long hours
British workers have higher levels of personal debt than others in Europe
British workers have lower levels of saving than others in Europe
the British economy is dangerously exposed to fluctuations in interest rates because of its dependence on the housing market
the British government has encouraged people to borrow and spend beyond their means
Britain is worst placed to weather international recession
Gordon Brown has not abolished boom and bust.

Fortunately the future is bright, because Gordon Brown, who, as any fule no, has saved the world, has worked out a cunning plan to deliver us from this chaos. Which is that:

British workers should work as many hours as possible
British workers should accept even the worst-paid jobs to avoid unemployment
British workers should borrow as much as possible
British workers should spend as much as possible
British workers shouldn't save
banks should lend more to each other and to the public.

Job done.

And there are people around who think it would be a good idea to vote these grunting fuckwits back into power?